PEOPLE IN CANADA STRESS about cursing and talking dirty because it gets shown on television, but I'm doing a gala with Joan Rivers and she has the filthiest mouth in comedy, so it's gonna be hilarious. What are they gonna do though? Tell her, "Listen here little missy, you're not gonna have a career in this business"?

I'VE GOT TWO KIDS AND THEY'RE on holiday just now, so if I was at home I'd be watching Yu-Gi-Oh. It's the most complicated show you'll ever see in your life. When the eight-year-old goes away to play elsewhere, the one-year old will get up, and then on goes Toy Story. It's great.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF Dexter in my own time. Usually I'll have been watching really nice things all day, so after 9pm I have to watch a forensic serial killer to balance the day out. I often fantasise about doing it - a comic who travels around the world murdering folk. I could easily get away with it.

STILL MY FAVOURITE FILM IS Raiders Of The Lost Ark. I think it's because I know nearly every line in it. I do like a little bit of evil too, though, so I like Goodfellas and Casino. I find it really hard to sit down and watch a nice movie - Little Miss Sunshine is about as far as I can get. I'd have really liked it if someone had ran up to the family and thrashed them with a baseball bat after the dance at the end.

I MUST HAVE BEEN BORN WITH confidence. I remember my mother putting me into crèche. We all went to the sandbox and all around me there were kids crying. I'll never forget it - I just sat ignoring them, messing with the sand. It must have been the connection I had with my mother, but I remember her just walking away and me just waving back.

I WAS A CONFIDENT LITTLE KID, but I looked very odd. I had big glasses and my hair was always in a bowl cut. It was toffee red - a very funny colour. Later on in school I was called Nestles, because I looked like the Milkybar Kid. I used to say, "In actual fact, I think you'll find it's Nestlé." I always got a couple of punches for that.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN hyperactive. I've got two hours to kill this morning and I'll have to just get on a treadmill. It's not even a fitness thing, it's like Dexter - he has to go around killing people to get a release. I'm like that. In the day I get very f***ing restless and in the evening I do gigs instead of killing people. I'm a serial comedian.

THE FIRST JOB I EVER HAD was in a bar at about 15. They used to get me to call time and they told me years later they only did it for a laugh because I had this stupid, squeaky voice and it was a proper rough bar in Dublin. They used to sit there laughing.

MY BROTHER LIVES IN SWEDEN and we went on a skiing holiday there. People say to me, "Why don't you just lie on a beach and relax?" but I think that's a shit way to spend your time. My son is only eight, but I can't wait until he's about 10 or 11 so we can go to Disneyland and f***ing freak out.

I HATE PEOPLE PRODDING AT me. When I was a kid and I was in trouble, I'd lose my temper. I could never be interrogated. I'd be in prison immediately if I was asked the same question all the time. Being kept awake for days wouldn't bother me as much as someone saying: "Were you there? Were you there? Were you there?"

Jason Byrne is appearing at the Assembly Hall from now until August 24

Interview by Jamie Lafferty