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August 21, 2008 Est 1999 Scotland's award-winning independent newspaper
The heart of the circus: cut price tablet, 'no huns' knickers ... and a supersize portion of apathy
GLASGOW EAST BY-ELECTION SPECIAL REPORT: A walk in Glasgow East
By Alan Taylor

IT TAKES about 15 minutes to walk from Glasgow's Merchant City, where you can buy £90 thongs from Agent Provocateur and £1000 suits from Emporio Armani, to the outskirts of Glasgow East; from the avenues built on the bounty of Victorian entrepreneurialism to what looks like a shanty town.

Once upon a time the Gallowgate was throbbing with life. But on a drizzly July morning, with the start of the Glasgow Fair just a few days away, it looks as if it has been kicked in the teeth and left for dead. It's early, but a few decrepit bars are already open.

Outside MacKinnon's, an elderly man is enjoying a fag, looking out on to what was once a thriving bric-a-brac market that is now covered in weeds and graffiti. "We buy rubbish - we sell antiques," promises one slogan. Many others are devoted to the cause of Partick Thistle, of whom the former owner of the market was apparently a supporter. "Nae wonder he ended up hingin' himself," says my informant, adding, as a smile blossoms on his face: "That's what I heard onywey."

As you travel east and further along the Gallowgate, you are confronted with a past long thought to have been buried. Bakers sell two bars of tablet for a tempting £1.20. In Libby Libby's, the legendary painting and decorating shop, Celtic wallpaper is on offer at £2 a roll. On the other side of the street is "Glasgow's Oldest Chippie" offering spam fritters ("old-fashioned favourite - must carry out"), deep-fried Mars bars and a three-course lunch including mince and tatties for a mighty £5.99. In Timland, all things Celtic are sold, including women's underwear with strategically placed no entry logos and the words "No Huns".

This is, of course, Celtic territory, where in bars such as Baird's the aforementioned Huns are not welcome. Using its toilets, my daughter, who is accompanying me, encounters a woman, dressed head to toe in leather, who asks: "Got any hairspray? Or deodorant?"

On a fence opposite the Barrowlands, someone has plonked an unfinished takeaway, the smell of which is rancid. Bins overflow and posters peel on corrugated iron, including one advertising the appearance of Derek Warfield of The Wolftones, "The Patriotic Spirit of Irish Music".

There is nothing, however, to suggest there is a looming by-election that could alter the face of British politics. There are no posters, no cars carrying party officials shouting slogans through megaphones, no buzz, no sign of William Hague - the Tory de jour - who has opted instead for Tesco in Shettleston, where he is trying valiantly to turn the price of potatoes into an election issue.

New flats and houses are being built, though, and on the site of the old meat market and abattoir there is a prize-winning regeneration project. Was this, one wonders, where Mat Craig - the hero of Archie Hind's great novel, The Dear Green Place - came to work as a slaughterman? At Sword Street, at last, there are posters for Margaret Curran, Labour's fifth-choice candidate, "Standing Up for the East End", and John Mason, the SNP's bachelor Baptist, who has said he'd ignore a No vote in a referendum on independence.

INCH by inch, day by day, point by point, the gap is closing. A week ago, and 11 days before the voters of Glasgow East were due to go to the polls, Labour held a lead of 14% over the SNP, who need a 22% swing if they are to wipe out a majority of over 13,500. Some commentators, however, expressed a note of scepticism, pointing out that of the 516 people polled, 131 said they would vote Labour, while 124 opted for the SNP.

If this analysis is correct then this by-election, which could yet prove cataclysmic for Gordon Brown's troubled premiership, is too close to call. The bookies appear to agree, installing Labour as firm favourites at 4/9 but with the SNP champing at the bit at 13/8. Insanely hopeful punters may be more interested in the LibDems at 100-1 or the Conservatives at 500-1.

Certainly the first minister, Alex Salmond, who has visited the constituency so often he could soon qualify for a vote, remains bullish, confidently predicting victory. For Salmond, elections are meat and two veg. He personally has never lost one since he was a student at St Andrews. That still rankles. Nor is he any less forgiving when it comes to his party. Labour's lead, he insists, can be overtaken.

"We are well aware of the extent of the majority," he said on Thursday, when he was torn between campaigning and watching the first round of the Open Championship at Royal Birkdale, "but I think we can get there. I am absolutely convinced we can do this."

If positive thinking could win elections the SNP would be a shoo-in. But it will take more than that to wrestle Glasgow East from Labour's clutches. This blighted part of Glasgow has long been a Labour fiefdom, though the constituency's new boundaries were only drawn three years ago.

As has been insensitively and offensively pointed out ad nauseam by day-trippers from the London media sent north to sneer at people who have few means of redress, poverty here is endemic. This is at the root of most if not all of Glasgow East's problems, which range from the early deaths of males to high rates of unemployment and sickness, alcohol abuse, drug addiction and the gamut of anti-social behaviour. Here, even if children leave school literate and numerate, they have much less chance of going on to higher education than their peers virtually anywhere else in the country. They are victims by virtue of where they've been born and brought up.

While that sounds bad - and no-one would deny that it is - comparisons with Baghdad and Beirut by journalists who rarely venture beyond Maida Vale serve only to create an impression that makes regeneration only harder. The truth, of course, is more complex and much less easy to articulate. Statistics may not lie but they cannot tell the whole story.

A MAN carrying two shopping bags says "hello", which is not something you hear volunteered very often in the Merchant City. Outside the art deco Bellgrove Hotel, which now lies empty, three men nod. Each has a can in his hand. One has an eye that won't open.

Opposite is the East End Healthy Living Centre. Although it is the middle of the school holidays the two football pitches are empty and there's no-one on the running track. Soon the east end is to be inundated with more of such facilities, as the recipient of Commonwealth Games largesse. Jobs - the figure 21,000 has been mentioned - will be created but what of the long term? A few kids are larking around in the playground and the summer programme offers various classes, including creative writing ("think you can be the next JK Rowling?"), gardening ("a relaxed and therapeutic morning trying different gardening techniques") and stopping smoking. Further on there is a block of houses, about half of which are boarded up. Where, when the adjacent St Mungo's Academy is closed, do the clientele for the Healthy Living Centre come from?

And so it goes. The further one gets from the city centre the more Glasgow East looks like what it is, a constituency without a heart. Further out is Easterhouse, where 50,000 or so people live. Would you want to? My daughter says a friend of hers worked at the National Theatre, whose headquarters are there. She hated it. Once you were there, she said, there was nothing to do, nowhere to eat or drink or socialise. Nor could you drive or cycle, because it was inevitable that your car or bike would be stolen or vandalised. At least she was able to escape. That is not an option available to countless others.

To the southwest lies Celtic Park, which is also in the constituency, where the Liberal Democrats had chosen to take their candidate, Ian Robertson, for a photo opportunity and to launch a petition to save Parkhead Fire Station.

He would have been better basing himself at the Forge Market in Shettleston, the largest enclosed market of its kind in Scotland. It was heaving and no wonder. Here, you can buy almost anything, from tattoos to predictions about your future from a member of the Romany royal family, enough meat to feed a family of four for a week for £19.99 and £2500 holidays in Florida.

"Awfie weather we're having," remarks a woman in a cafe. "You've got an angel face," says a pensioner to my daughter. "Dinnae ruin it wi' a frown." After which he proposes marriage to a woman in a wheelchair who'd had her legs amputated beneath the knees.

Outside, only three parties are campaigning in the rain; Labour, the Scottish Socialist Party and Solidarity. In all, nine candidates are contesting this by-election. There are potentially 69,000 voters in Glasgow East, of whom only about a third are expected to exercise their right to vote. A lot depends on who they decide to go for. But whatever they do there is more apathy than enthusiasm. And who can blame them? By Friday morning the circus will have packed up and moved elsewhere.

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Posted by: Stephen, Glasgow on 12:07am Sun 20 Jul 08
"There is nothing, however, to suggest there is a looming by-election..." in Glasgow CENTRAL constituency. Along most of the Gallowgate, that's why there "are no posters, no cars carrying party officials shouting slogans through megaphones, no buzz, no sign..." and Samaras is more important than Salmond.
Posted by: Ronan, Glasgow on 12:23am Sun 20 Jul 08
Ha Ha I got that as well when he mentioned MackInnions - your in the wrong fu**kin constituency you moron!!!You make a very valid point about the snooty London media but dont try telling us the equaly snooty Byres road media is any different .
Posted by: Send us a decent reporter, from anywhere on 12:56am Sun 20 Jul 08
On a fence opposite the Barrowlands, someone has plonked an unfinished takeaway, the smell of which is rancid. Bins overflow and posters peel on corrugated iron, including one advertising the appearance of Derek Warfield of The Wolftones, "The Patriotic Spirit of Irish Music".

There is nothing, however, to suggest there is a looming by-election that could alter the face of British politics.


Erm, I wonder why?

At Sword Street, at last, there are posters…


Could it be because Sword Street is the western boundary of Glasgow East and you and your daughter have just wasted that walk from the Merchant City through the adjoining constituency?

Will you still get your expenses back for the dry sherry you bought in Bairds?

Opposite is the East End Healthy Living Centre. Although it is the middle of the school holidays the two football pitches are empty and there's no-one on the running track. Soon the east end is to be inundated with more of such facilities,…


And no, strike three!

The east end will not be inundated with more of such facilities – despite its name the place you refer to is actually in Glasgow Central Ward (south of Gallowgate at Sword Street). As is The Calton, and Dennistoun is in the Glasgow North East constituency (another example of the lazy journalism this “circus ” has provided).

Last week the party activists were on boasting about their electioneering in Barlornock and I thought that was bad.
Posted by: George, Glasgow on 1:55am Sun 20 Jul 08
The article makes altogether too light of the sectarian insult "Huns". But since the writer doesn't even know where the constituency boundaries are....
Posted by: Donald Anderson, glasgow on 7:32am Sun 20 Jul 08
Just cross into London road at the Brigton end and you will encounter Rangers pubs with Union Jacks and Ulster flags prominently displayed outside.

Walk into Duke Street in the constituency proper and encounter the Loyalist pubs, such as Loudens, The Bristol Bar, The Duke, etc, etc. In fact, keep walking from Glasgow Cross into darkest Lanarkshire and you will find stings of Celtic and Rangers establishments in all the poorest areas. All of them are ripe for Labour Unionist myths and propaganda.

Labour still weighs in the Unionist vote in Brigtoon and Larkhall, as they do In Garngad, Coatbridge and all of the other sectarian ghettos they created.
Posted by: Craig P on 8:20am Sun 20 Jul 08
This and the other coverage in todays paper regarding the "East End" is terrible. Who do you think is reading your paper? Why take your daughter with you? Was she dragged along to ward of evil spirits? or just to allow you to add some real life spice to your mess.

Was this, one wonders, where Mat Craig - the hero of Archie Hind's great novel, The Dear Green Place - came to work as a slaughterman?
Who do you think your writing for? Terrible. A Glasgow based paper!!!!
Posted by: Im no really here, but over there on 9:43am Sun 20 Jul 08
Wonderful piece of desktop journalism. I wonder if he has a daughter, or whether he ever left the pub. Go back to sleep Alan. Get you're expenses in quick before the Editor reads this.
Posted by: Bill Forbes, Cambuslang on 10:53am Sun 20 Jul 08
PICTURE THE SCENE –

The Taylor household last night, during their regular dinner party.

The crème of the Glasgow cognoscenti gather round Alan hushed but for the gasps of horror as he regales with tales of his intrepid journey into Glasgow’s East End. Some of the female entourage blush; titter and avert their eyes when he recounts the story of the knickers with “No Huns ”; others clearly swoon, overcome with the imagined terror their hero must have gone through.
One of the other gentlemen of the party attempts to diffuse the tension:
“But Fauntleroy (posh people only refer to each other by their middle names) old boy, don’t you think that it was a bit risky taking your beautiful daughter Syrah-Chardonnay there with you? I’ve heard that Attila fellow is a bit of a mean blighter”
“Yes, Faunty”, interjects one of the besotted LADS (that’s Ladies And Debutants) “I can well imagine that she may have been ravished”
“No, no” sniggers our hero as he sips from his crystal champagne flute “I did take precautions; in fact to tell you the truth, we didn’t actually walk; Archibald (the faithful Taylor household man servant from Haghill) was with us and he drove the Range Rover”
The tension is relieved by the ensemble’s chortling and snorting which echoes through the Library up the main staircase to the west wing of Chez Taylor, where a lonely teenage girl sits, contemplating her latest journal entry:
“Dear Diary, today Pater took me to see the East End. It was a horrible, squalid place. I now know my destiny. During my gap year I will do missionary work in that god forsaken place and if I come up against that Attila brute then it is God’s will”

NOTE TO ALAN - if you are to write fiction, write good fiction.
Posted by: EastEnd Maggie, shettleston on 11:22am Sun 20 Jul 08
What a load of old todgers, The Forge is in PARKHEAD not Shettleston, IT IS ACTUALLY called The Parkhead Forge (but then you would have saw that had you actually been there) you would think this assumed journo would do his research, but NO he assumes he will get it right. Utter rubbish Mr Taylor and the comment about someone asking for deoderant or hairspray in a toilet? How shocking is that supposed to be? Is that really a horrifying sitaution for your daughter? Is that it?

Go back to your snooty wee home and stop pretending you can actually write about the east end and if you ever do, please try and get the area's and their subsequent boundaries correct. More dire writing from the pompous wee Talyor.

Go see read Jane Godley's piece in the Sunday Herald today and learn something about writing or at least fact finding in your schoolboy essay's that you peddle as journalism.
Posted by: Sam, Glasgow on 1:18pm Sun 20 Jul 08
Sorry Alan, but that is a shocker.
Posted by: Cynicus on 1:40pm Sun 20 Jul 08
George wrote:
The article makes altogether too light of the sectarian insult "Huns". But since the writer doesn't even know where the constituency boundaries are....
"Huns" I can see is an insult. But is it a SECTARIAN insullt as, say, "Orange arse-holes" would be.

"Huns" may have originated with Celtic supporters but is now used by fans from Annan to Inverness to describe you-know-who. Are all of Scotland's non-Rangers fans sectarian?
Posted by: George, Glasgow on 2:56pm Sun 20 Jul 08
Cynicus wrote:
George wrote: The article makes altogether too light of the sectarian insult "Huns". But since the writer doesn't even know where the constituency boundaries are....
"Huns" I can see is an insult. But is it a SECTARIAN insullt as, say, "Orange arse-holes" would be. "Huns" may have originated with Celtic supporters but is now used by fans from Annan to Inverness to describe you-know-who. Are all of Scotland's non-Rangers fans sectarian?
The likes of anti-sectarian charity Nil By Mouth, the PSNI, and Glasgow education officials will tell you "Huns" is a sectarian insult. Hearts, traditionally seen as Edinburgh's Protestant club, are called "mini-Huns" or "Huns without the bus fare" by Celtic fans. In Northern Ireland, you see "Kill All Huns" painted on walls in reference to Protestants (and if you think Ireland is not relevant here I suggest you read the article again). People who are directing it at traditionally Protestant Rangers need to have a wee think about what they're doing.
Posted by: Im no really here, but over there on 4:55pm Sun 20 Jul 08
Add this to the PSO Glasgow East poll being conducted in Rutherglen. Did they get directions from Alan Taylor??

I'm still laughing - it's hilarious.
Posted by: Frank, 302-914 on 11:12pm Sun 20 Jul 08
The east end, and the Calton in particular, are getting a terrible press at the minute - if here was no by election it would not be mentioned.

Some of the finest people in Glasgow were born in the Calton, and struggled like **** to raise money working in 'The Barras' (as non Caltonians call it), to bring up their families, educate them and do right by their sons and daughters.

Go to the Calton on a Sunday afternoon and stroll into Saint Alphonsus Chapel at 4.00pm. There you will see the Calton and the east end people.
Posted by: eastendmaggie, Glasgow (depending on what Taylor calls it) on 12:51am Mon 21 Jul 08
Dear Frank dont ask pointy nose Taylor to go the Calton, he will mistake it for Knightswood or Bargeddie. The stupid horror of this article makes me feel sick. Not only does he make himself look a dick, but he brought his poor daughter into it as well, will this man stop at nothing to sell his story? Why dont you bring the rest of your family into as well?

I am also disgusted with the editors of this newspaper, did none of them bother to fact check the piece? Did no one in that news room say "Hang on is the Gallowgate really in the East End By-election?"
absolutley dire and shockingly patronising piece of writing, I hope he hangs his head in shame over this rubbish.
Posted by: Paul Spencer, Glasgow on 10:22pm Tue 22 Jul 08
Well what can i say to the Muse of Musselburgh, obviously the Sat Nav (thats Satellite Navigation) for you failed. But then again Alan you arent far off the mark as a denizen of Glasgow Central the rancid chip pokes and shouting and sundry vandals and goths often pass through our neck of the woods back to the steppes of Shettleston and Easterhouse.

Al stick to what your good at and don't fill in the gaps for a newspaper group already denuded of any bodies on the ground, and venture east........... the last two guys that did that came back defeated and lost their crowns
Posted by: Karen Miller, Not Scotland's second city (Edinbore) on 9:35pm Sat 26 Jul 08
Alan (Mr Edinbore) Taylor who writes (badly) for a Glasgow-based newspaper. Did the Hootsmon sack you and you had to go "all the way through to that Glasgow" for work?

This is without doubt your WORST article ever, utter mince!
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